My genetic heritage in my family is Norwegian Swede on my dad's side and what I call a "potluck of pasty" on my mom's side since her family is a genetic mutt of every lily white nationality in Europe. Because of our glowing pastiness, we are VERY prone to skin cancer. Both my parents have had skin cancer removed before, and my mom has a squamous cell carcinoma on her nose right now that she's having removed in the coming weeks. My oldest sister had skin cancer removed from her lip. My uncle has had TONS of skin cancers removed from his face and arms, one of which on his nose was as big as a quarter and required plastic surgery after removal.
Coppertone loves my family.
Because of this family history I have kept a very close eye on my skin since I was a teenager, making note of every mole and mark on me to make sure they didn't change. So when a spot popped up on the back of my left hand — right on top of the first knuckle of the middle finger — at the end of February, I was on high alert to keep an eye on it.
By the beginning of May the spot had grown to a little larger than a pencil eraser, and it was raised. I already had a routine doctor appointment set for June, so I waited to see what he had to say about it. After examining it closely, he said he thought it was a keyloid scar and NOT cancer. He previously diagnosed a spot on my mom's shoulder as a keyloid scar that ended up being basal cell carcinoma, though, so I didn't take that as the final word. He prescribed me some steroid cream to try for a couple weeks, saying if it was a keyloid I'd see marked improvement. If not, go see a dermatologist.
The cream did absolutely NOTHING, so last week I went to see a dermatologist I found after doing thorough research. She didn't think it was a keyloid, but she didn't think it was cancer, either. I forgot what she said she thought it was, but it's a fibrous growth that is common to women and benign. Given my family history, though, she still wanted to biopsy it to be safe.
Numbing injections SUCK. Numbing injections on top of bone suck even more. Good GOD, ow. Owowowowow, expletive expletive how many more times do you need to stick me, expletive, OW.
While I was there I had her give me a onceover and at least that brought VERY good news. Not only is there nothing else suspicious, she said she rarely sees anyone with "practically NO sun damage at all" and that my skin is so healthy it glows.
Thank you for slathering me with sunblock all through my childhood, Mom! Thank you for hating being outside, self!
Back to the biopsy, though. I had to have stitches (which was the first time I have EVER had stitches, actually!), and they will come out on Monday the 14th. I'm hoping to get them out sooner, though, like Friday or Saturday. I'm going out of town on Tuesday the 15th so I'd rather it not be the day before I leave. I have stuff to do (and a work deadline to meet which might take a small miracle at this point for reasons outside of my own fault or control). But I digress.
If this thing had been on ANY other part of the back of my hand, or even the second or third knuckle, it wouldn't have been a big deal. I could have at least worn a finger splint to keep the knuckle from moving, but nooo. It has to be on the knuckle that is basically impossible to completely immobilize. And I was terrified I was going to subconsciously go to grab something and rip open the stitches because they're seriously smack dab on the top of the knuckle.
Do you realize how hard it is to not move your first knuckles?! You move your first knuckles to do EVERYTHING. You can't take off or put on clothes. You can't dry yourself off after showering. You can't drive because you can't grip the steering wheel. It's like when you twist your ankle or hurt your wrist. You have no CLUE how much you pivot on your ankle or move your wrist until it hurts to do so! I had to wrap my hand in ace bandages for the first two days to keep that knuckle immobilized. It rubbed me raw in other places, but I'd rather be raw in a couple places than have those stitches pulled open.
Then on the 3rd-4th days I accidentally grabbed at my sheets in bed — which made me make a fist — TWICE. Holy crap in a pita that woke me up really damn quick.
Thankfully I'm healed enough now that I can grip things and make a fist, albeit not tightly for either. It still pulls on the stitches, but at least it doesn't zap me the way it did when the incision was fresh. My middle finger is also bruised to a lovely shade of baby poop green all the way up to my second knuckle for some odd reason.
Did I mention I have a work deadline among all this? Not like a commission that I can explain a delay to a client for, but a work deadline for one of the production companies I work for as a colorist that CANNOT. BUDGE. And my art director has been delayed by several days in getting the art to me for me to color, which has made an already tight deadline for me all the more stressful since I can only work for so long at a time before my back/neck and nerve hypersensitivity tells me to stop by making it unbearable to even sit down in my desk chair. Good juju would be appreciated to help me get this stuff done, please.
But I digress AGAIN.
I still don't have the pathology back on the biopsy. I really HOPE it isn't cancer, but I won't know for sure until they call me with the results. I'll either update this journal entry or make a new one once I DO get the results back. So good juju would be appreciated for THAT, too.
I really do hate my frickin' body sometimes.
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UPDATE 7/10:
IT'S NOT CANCER, YAY.
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I don't know why that creeps people out as much as it does, but it's hilarious!