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May 2, 2009
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Recovery and Relief - A Doodle by KrisCynical Recovery and Relief - A Doodle by KrisCynical
I know not all of my watchers follow my journal entries as well, so here's the skinny:

Ever since I got serious about my artwork (12 or so), I have had nightmares about something happening to my hand that would render me unable to draw. Unfortunately for me, it happened at the end of March.

At the end of March I was hit with an excruciating muscle spasm in my neck that sent me to the ER. The following afternoon is when the numbness set in. It started in my fingers, then spread to my hands, up the arms, and all throughout my torso. I was left unable to function in even the most mundane ways. I couldn't write, I couldn't draw, I couldn't type, I couldn't handle pill bottles, hold silverware to feed myself, brush or flatiron my hair, apply makeup, or even sleep in my bed. Brushing my teeth was a two-handed ordeal, and it was just because I have a sonicare that I was able to brush my teeth at all. I spent three weeks sleeping in my dad's recliner in the living room.

In the past month I have been to the ER three times, seen a neurologist, had a CT scan, MRIs of my spine and brain, complete blood work, a urinalysis and an EKG to try and figure out what was wrong with me. After going through all of that and racking up thousands of dollars in medical bills, all of it came back normal.

Besides this being terrifying, it was mental torture. Without being able to draw, I sank into a pretty bad depression because drawing isn't only what I do for a living, it's a coping mechanism. I didn't want to think about what would happen if I never regained feeling in my hands and was thus never able to draw again.

As a last resort I went to see a chiropractor who finally found the problem. Since college I have been slowly losing the natural curve in my neck (it's straight as a board now) and have developed a slight curvature to my spine, putting pressure on and in some places completely blocking the function of my nerves. I've been seeing her several times a week for three weeks now, and I have finally gotten to the point where I can function again. She's been a life saver for me, and I'll forever be grateful to her for it.

Monday night (4/27) I finally tried putting pen to paper to draw. What came out of it wasn't client-worthy, but enough for me to keep my sanity. It actually made my hand and arm a little sore which is kind of pathetic.

Last night I tried drawing again on my cintiq and this is what happened. If it looks kind of like Kagome it's because it started as her but kind of morphed into I don't know what. I don't have a motivation or story behind this image; I was just drawing a face, hair and body.

So, finally, the nightmare seems to be over. I know all of that sounds horribly melodramatic, but I can't help it. I'd never been so scared in my life.

To everyone here on DA who expressed their concern and sent their well-wishes and prayers, thank you. All of you helped my sanity a lot.

Photoshop CS2 on a Cintiq.
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:iconmerimask:
merimask Featured By Owner May 4, 2009  Professional Artisan Crafter
I'm so glad you are feeling better.

Your art is still wonderful, and it's great to see that "you're back"! She's just beautiful by the way.

*careful hugs*
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:iconwhiterosebud06:
whiterosebud06 Featured By Owner May 3, 2009
Beautiful work. Truly. It's interesting as well, when you write about what's been going on with you in the past month, I can almost see it sketched onto this young woman's face. There is slight sadness in it, yet at the same time, there is a bit of relief--a type of great relief that says "I can do this. I know I can."

I know you can do this, as well. I've been following you and your art since I was a freshman in high school (I'm 21 now), and I've been reading your LJ on this and praying for you every night. (I hope this also in no way sounds stalkerish...which it might and for that I apologize... o.O). But, I'm so happy to see you're doing better--in everything.

Good luck in your endeavors!

~Rose
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:iconokinawan-koi:
okinawan-koi Featured By Owner May 3, 2009
I think, dear, that the entire story IS the motivation story. Getting back to where you can draw again not only for your clients, but for YOU is the best reason I think!

I am so glad you are doing better!
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:iconarielmanx:
ArielManx Featured By Owner May 3, 2009
Beautiful! It's great to see you drawing again. :love:
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:icontrin-chan:
Trin-chan Featured By Owner May 3, 2009
i'm really happy that you found someone who could help you and that you feel better now! the nervous system can be a real bitch.
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:icondrazzielder:
DrazziElder Featured By Owner May 3, 2009  Student General Artist
I'm so happy for you honey. Glad to have you back.
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:iconboudou:
boudou Featured By Owner May 3, 2009
even if your hand is still a little numb, you still draw very well
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:iconvvkimbo07:
vvkimbo07 Featured By Owner May 2, 2009
Simplistically beautiful! :heart::heart::heart:
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:iconsoli-77:
Soli-77 Featured By Owner May 2, 2009
I lost use of one of my hands after an accident - took six months to get it back, and it's never been as strong but at least it's back. I know exactly how you felt and I'm glad you've recovered. Here's to second chances at what you love!
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:iconbklynsharkexpert:
BklynSharkExpert Featured By Owner May 2, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I've been reading and I'm so glad you're feeling better, your drawings are still beautiful even as a sketch!
So I can't wait to see more from you when you're feeling more better :)
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